Not really sure where to begin with this one, but here goes…
She accidentally left her Mac open, and we’ve been going through a rough patch, which isn’t unusual given our high-pressure jobs and caring for a child with special needs. Generally, things are pretty solid. We’ve only been clashing in the past year or so; before that, it was just minor spats over trivial stuff. Recently, I expressed my unease to her, admitting that I’m struggling with how to feel about our situation, especially with moving forward.
I had suspicions she’d been fooling around, or at least flirting with the idea. So, I took a peek in the Photos app. Nothing seemed amiss at first. But then, I checked the ‘Hidden’ album and there they were: eight photos of a coworker, all hugs and cheek kisses, looking way too cozy. One was even a video where she clings to him, laughing, clearly drunk.
Confronting her over text while she was at work led to the immediate deletion of those photos. Thankfully, I’d airdropped them to myself beforehand, just in case I’d need evidence for any potential legal battles. Her response to my inquiry was evasive—feigning ignorance, then turning the blame on me for snooping. I know it was wrong, but what I discovered…
We hashed it out during her work hours, and admittedly, I lost my cool. It’s just unsettling how she hid those photos, especially since they date back to music festivals from last year, both held a considerable distance from home.
She and this guy have struck up a friendship at work, though I’ve never met him. She insists he’s aware she’s married.
Her excuse for the photos? “I’m sorry, I just wasn’t thinking.” She admits to overdrinking, which is something she never does with me, citing it triggers her panic attacks. We’d previously agreed she’d cut back on alcohol to avoid these episodes.
This same guy happened to be at her hotel during the first concert. She didn’t call me that night—no panic attack, perhaps?
She’s adamant nothing more happened, but trust is shattered. If she’s done this so nonchalantly, what else might there be with no photo evidence?
The “I wasn’t thinking” defense really irks me. Didn’t she think of her husband of 11 years? Our child? It’s led to a massive, ongoing argument, and I’m at a loss.
Moving forward, how can I trust her? If she’s been careless enough to capture a kiss on the cheek in multiple photos, what does that say? They snapped shots in the car, at the venue, timestamps scattered from early evening to late night.
Am I blowing this out of proportion, or is my upset justified?
And about those Hidden photos and videos “for me” that I never received—she claims they’ve never been shared. It’s odd.
Another tidbit: she’s got a trip planned across the country for another show with a friend soon.
I’d value any advice. Maybe I’m overthinking, and that’s okay; I just need some clarity either way.
