Engaging in an affair while hitched is a major no-go – but there’s this ‘other woman’ who just can’t seem to quit joining in on them.
When you’re wed, stepping out is pretty much the top way to shatter your partner’s trust. They’re the ones who swore to be loyal and true. Yet, even if the third party’s single, they’re not off the hook.
This one gal’s wrestling with guilt over having over 20 intimate flings with married women, both bisexual and straight, who she claims are just trying things out. At 34, she’s been the ‘other woman’ in these married ladies’ lives for upwards of eight years, and her secret’s been busted by eight husbands.
Even though she gets that her actions are out of line, she’s hooked on the “thrills and excitement”. She’s reaching out to agony aunt Deidre Sanders, confessing: “I hate that I’m breaking up marriages. I’m desperate for help to stop these affairs.”
She spilled her story to Dear Deidre, detailing the beginning: “It all kicked off when I connected with this woman on a dating app. We hit a hotel after just a couple of dates. The next day, she drops the bomb – she’s married with a kid.
“The guilt hit me hard after I’d slept with her, but she said I helped her figure out her sexuality and she’d been dreaming of being with a woman for ages.”
She agreed to another meet-up, and that sparked an affair that didn’t quit for nearly a year. Since then, she’s racked up “loads more flings,” mostly with women tied to men.
She admits she’s never really “fallen for any” of these women, reckoning she’s in it for the “thrills and excitement more than the actual relationships.”
Deirdre threw out the idea that maybe she’s messing around with married women because she’s “scared of real commitment”. She noted: “Sure, the buzz of nearly getting caught can be a wild rush, but it’s playing with fire. You’re clued in on the risks and the hurt these flings can dish out.”
The advice giver also hinted that maybe a “shortage of affection from her folks” might be driving her to seek these risky romps for a “quick-hit high of feeling wanted”. But now that she’s grown, it’s time to make her own calls and rein in her actions.
